As of late my husband and I, being in our 40s have been looking at our “investments”. When I say investments our minds often go straight to things of monetary value. We think about stocks and shares or bonds and property. We think about returns in dollars and cents. But what are we investing our most valuable asset of time into?
Every day we choose. We choose what we spend our time and energy on. As Singaporeans, we are not strangers to choosing to invest our time and energy in many things we value. We choose to spend 45 minutes queuing for that Char Kway Tiao we’ve been craving for. We spend 30 minutes driving to a special place to get the “best” Mee Pok, because the one in our neighbourhood just won’t do. We will queue overnight for concert tickets, or even McDonald’s toys (even though I personally will never understand this). Why? Because we value greatly what is at the other end of that queue.
Like my husband and I, many plan meticulously and strategically to ensure we are putting away enough money each month from each paycheck to build a healthy savings account we can call upon when we retire. Do we do so with our time as well? Meticulously and strategically put time aside to build up our relationships each month so that they are healthy?
We schedule work meetings, children’s activities, gym sessions, enrichment classes and our calendars are often packed, leaving little room dedicated time for real connection. We communicate through hurried texts and brief interactions between tasks or through DMs on soccial media. When was the last time you truly and intentionally connected with your spouse, your kids or your parents without the distraction of screens or to-do lists?
When it comes to money or crops, it’s a no brainer, we know if we don’t put in the money or put seed in the ground we will have no returns, no harvest. The same law of sowing and reaping applies too to our relationships. If we don’t sow and invest our time and affections into the relationships, we cannot expect to reap a bountiful trusting relationship. It just doesn’t work. That would be like expecting to get a body builder’s physique without ever lifting any weights – it just doesn’t happen.
In marriage, we easy to fall into the trap of thinking that love alone is enough to sustain a marriage. We assume that because we said “I do,” the relationship will simply thrive. With our children, we take it for granted that because we are their world when they are little that we will continue to be so when they grow older. That since we have their trust now, we will always have their trust and their hearts.
Like any living thing, a relationship needs nourishment to grow and flourish. That nourishment comes in the form of dedicated time, intentional communication, shared experiences, and simply being present with one another.
Often we think that spending time together has to be about grand gestures, expensive date nights or long holidays. All those can be wonderful but it’s really about the small, consistent efforts that demonstrate our commitment and love for the other person. It’s about making time for a daily meals together. Going for walks hand-in-hand. Having uninterrupted conversations before bed while you snuggle up close. Simply being intentionally present when the other person is talking – intentionally putting your phone away is you placing a small but long term investment into the future of your relationship.
Consider this: dedicating just one minute a day to being intentional and present with your spouse or your child translates to over 6 hours of invested time in a year! Five minutes a day – 30 hours! Ten minutes a day – 50 hours! All stems from just taking a tiny sliver of your day, investing it into your relationships and watching that time compound and build trust, love, respect and connection.
That’s where our mindset has to shift. Instead of viewing that time with your spouse or children as costing you time away from your busy schedule, think of this time as an important and precious compounding investment into nurturing a healthy relationship with them. A relationship you will want to call on for sure when you’re old and grey.
Make that first investment today. Take the time to be intentional and present with someone you want to sow your most valuable asset into today.
Who do you want to set aside time for? How much time will you set aside today and consistently over the next week?
Want the abundant life full of healthy relationships but it feels a million miles away? Book a call with me. I would love to help you grab it! It has been promised to you, the price has already been paid. Let’s go!
